Light for the next step

View of BFA and my driveway from my balcony

 As I walked up my driveway towards my apartment, I found myself struggling to see the road under my feet. I live across the street from BFA (high school) just at the edge of town  and on the top floor of a stand alone house. While a bit unusual for this part of the world I have no immediate neighbors aside from my landlady. On cloudy nights with the forest in my backyard and no street lights to light the way one can feel almost blind trying to find their way up my driveway. It only takes one time of fumbling your way home in the dark, wondering what forest creature may be watching you, to learn to always carry a flashlight with you.

But this night as I walked up my hill the darkness seemed particularly dark. Even with my flashlight I could only see enough to take the next step or maybe two. As I tried to focus on what I could see, and not on what might be hiding in the shadows, I felt the Lord remind me of the fact that He is the Light of the world!! And though we are living in dark days my job is to focus on the Light that He provides! Darkness can at times threaten to consume us and yet He faithfully gives us enough light to take the next step...and then the next...and then the next. What an important reminder!

It was a reminder I needed!! The last year has felt dark. The pathway that once felt brightly lit has grown dim or even invisible and I find myself unsure of what the future will or should look like. And the more I think about or try to look to the future the more uncertain and anxious I become! The Lord graciously reminded me in the midst of the darkness of night that I don't need to look far ahead. He has given me enough light for the next step and for now that is all I need and I am learning (or trying to learn) to be OK with just that.

At times I must confess I want the light to shine brightly on the path ahead, making the path easy and my steps sure. And yet at each turn He keeps giving strength to press on and provides moments of rest when I am not sure if I can take the next step or what the next step might hold.

Not too long ago my sister wrote a beautiful blog on having eyes to see His hand even in the midst of grief, hardship and pain. I want His eyes! I don't want exhaustion, fear, anxiety or grief to keep me from seeing His mercies and grace extended to me in the midst of the losses of the past year.  

So allow me to share some moments of grace this fall:

• Being back at BFA and experiencing my sixth opening ceremony
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• Students and colleagues who faithfully prayed for me and my family and welcomed me back
• Walking into a clean apartment and a stocked frig after being gone for 8 months thanks to dear friends
• A day in the Alps with friends, the majesty of God displayed in His creation revives the soul

• Seeing a former student get baptized
• Students who teach me about the world and so much more every day
• Colleagues that continue to sacrificially give of themselves by covering my classes so I could return to the States for a week to help out at home
  

• The smoothest first month of school I have experienced
• Attending a special Sunday event where all the French churches in the area gathered together to worship!

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• Amazing deals on airline tickets and smooth and uneventful trips to and from the States
• My Dad's radiation treatments are over!
• A great week in the States with my Mom where we are able to accomplish a lot, enjoy being together and celebrate her birthday a little early!
• Seeing God's provision in the amazing people He has provided to care for my Mom

Thank you to so many who have prayed for me as I transition back to BFA and try to continue to help from a distance with some of my mom's care. I have felt those prayers and am so thankful. I would ask for your continued prayers for physical and emotional strength as I try to juggle two worlds.  Please also pray for our staff and students here at BFA that we would individually and collectively seek the Lord with all our heart, mind, soul and strength! This year BFA is celebrating it's 60th year and the theme is Faithful! He is indeed Faithful even in the dark!