I am a wimp!

I have a confession to make. I am a wimp! In the several weeks I have felt God calling me to truly intercede for several situations (personal and worldwide events). None of these situations involved me directly.  My life, career, finances, health were not, nor are they, in any jeopardy. His only call was (and is) to intercede and share in carrying some of the things that are on His heart. And yet I must confess I found myself fighting this call. What a wimp!

I was confronted with my own sinful heart. To be perfectly honest I didn't want to enter into the pain of these situations. The cost was minimal to say the least. But it felt heavy. I felt inadequate. And the situations felt hopeless.

As only Jesus could have orchestrated, I have been teaching my 6^th graders about the Beatitudes and the Sermon on the Mount. Jesus begins His ministry in the book of Matthew with these explosive teachings. Jesus enters in and takes an upside down world and teaches us how to live right side up again. Jesus teaches us that He has come do more than change my outward actions. He can transform my “want to” my inner heart and my motives. What a glorious transforming Gospel! He never promised it would be easy but He reveals to us who He is in these chapters and He is a God who does the impossible. He is the God of those who mourn and the God of the weak! And if we let Him, He can come in and transform us to look more and more like Him. What Good News! He doesn't wait for me to be courageous, fearless, perfect. His invitation to me is the same as it was in the Gospels...”Come, Follow me.”

Oswald Chambers reminds us in his book on the Sermon on the Mount that Jesus did not come to simply teach us. He came to make us what He teaches we should be. “The beatitudes are not mild and nice sayings but they contain the dynamite of the Holy Spirit. They explode like spiritual mines when the circumstances of life requires them to do.” The Sermon on the Mount teaches us who He is and who we are, revealing the “Divine Disproportion.” But isn't that the point? He alone can bridge that gap and transform my heart. Why is it something that I always think I can muster up in my own strength? Isn't this the very essence of the Good News? He can transform my “want to,” my motives. He can clean me from the inside out!

So I am asking Him to do in me what I can't do for myself. I am asking Him to give me the courage to enter in and carry some of the things on His heart. And you know what? I have seen Him work in incredible ways in situations that felt impossible. I have seen in a new way that this God I love is a personal God, One who mourns with those who mourn, One who cares for those dying from ebola in West Africa, cares for those suffering for His Name's sake around the world, cares about each one of His children.

I may be a wimp but through His strength I can chose to enter into the very heart of God and be transformed. And when I am doing it in His strength it is no longer a burden but a privilege. Why would I settle for anything less when the God I love chose to enter into my world, my sin and my mess?

 For great resources on prayer check out www.prayercast.com

* Image from http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/9/96/Bloch-SermonOnTheMount.jpg/640px-Bloch-SermonOnTheMount.jpg

*https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiHqAUVTr9tdp5nzWV1Lp7q_txFlVSbxLeV3yPhN6Qn2Hg8Uk2wNjijYJjfLXH6f0wk9WRrMFMJz3IwaeiP8nmPatbsw9COjF5AMpC2q0x8LBZRlWO2kTGFG79ashPVI3sLq79hb33KSW2a/s320/Prayer.jpg

Lasts

"When are you flying out?"  That is a question that has been heard echoing throughout the halls of BFA recently.  Everyone is wrapping things up, grading, cleaning and packing in anticipation of graduation tomorrow followed by travel for most of our community.  For some it is travel to visit family and friends, for others it is traveling to raise support to return to BFA and for others it is packing everything up and saying goodbye to life at BFA and Germany and walking through the next door the Lord has opened for them.  It is amazing to hear the places that not only our students are headed to but also our staff.  At our recent staff appreciation dinner, (an opportunity to say goodbye to those who will not be returning) we heard of those who were returning to North America and of those who were going to serve at schools in central Asia, South America and in other parts of Europe.  What a privilege to get to work with people who are not looking to settle down and find security but continually asking the Lord what He has next for them, regardless of the phase of life in which they find themselves.  From the widow who courageously chose to return to BFA alone to the retired couple who could be enjoying the beach and their grandchildren to the recent college grad who instead of starting a career is giving tirelessly of themselves to high school students...these are my co-workers.

My middle school co-workers

Graduation is now upon us and once again the goodbyes are more than I care to admit.  My days have been filled with "lasts."  So many colleagues and students are leaving.  Some precious time with a girl that I have mentored this past year at the senior girls' tea.  Some of the girls are able to have their moms there but I was able to step into that role for the afternoon and what a privilege sitting next to Elise who is Dutch and grew up in Asia and across from another senior who is Australian and grew up in the middle east.  Both of these girls are beautiful on the inside and outside.

One last small group meeting.  These 7 women welcomed me into their group this year and were a huge blessing to me.  Four of them will not be returning next year and will be greatly missed!

Half our small group - so thankful for these women!

One last time for the middle school staff to be together and say goodbye to those who are leaving (out of 10 full time teachers, 5 are leaving). Saying goodbye to our 8th graders with a banquet and awards ceremony. Some of them are leaving and others are just moving up to the high school campus.   Last classes, last staff meetings, and the list goes on.  I am so very thankful to not be moving out or transitioning this year but the reality is that even for those left behind transition is involved. Thank you for praying for BFA and for the staff and students! 

Some of my 8th graders - boys will be boys :)

Are we there yet?

“Are we there yet?”

“When can we eat?”

"I have to go to the bathroom."

“Can we pick our own groups?”

“Do we have to have a teacher in our group? Can't we just explore on our own?”

If you have ever led a field trip or if you are a parent, you have heard either these exact questions or similar ones. This week was ELW (Experiential Learning Week) at the middle school. I was one of the team leaders for the 7^th grade and over the course of four field trip days I heard all of these questions multiple times. In many ways, our kids are just like every other kid. But then you have those moments that remind you that they have experienced a lot more than many their age.  From having the the current crisis in Thailand explained to me in detail, to being told that they had been to a very similar museum in Dubai, my students continue to teach me! While the week was exhausting, it was good to connect with these students outside of the classroom. 

Our crew for the week

 On Monday we visited the Basel zoo and traveled on public transportation, which turned into quite an adventure. Although we had called ahead and told them that a bigger bus would be required, the message did not seem to have been received. We ended up standing for well over an hour trying not to crush 1^st and 3^rd graders (who were also standing) traveling with us. Our kids were great sports but needless to say, it was a long ride. 

Finally made it to Basel - headed to the Zoo

Splitting a McFlurry three ways and enjoying every bite with these two!

  On Tuesday we spend a day at the high school. They were able to enjoy some of the perks of the high school campus: ceramics class, chemistry lab, and a full sized gym. 

Their egg survived a four story drop!

 On Wednesday we traveled an hour and a half away to a very nice children's museum outside of Zurich. We spent four full hours exploring and could have stayed longer. 

On Friday we visited a local castle and they did the ropes course in a nearby town. (Thursday was Ascension Day – a national holiday). 

You have to have at least one silly picture. :) 

Ready to conquer the ropes course!

Showing their muscles

Monday begins our last full week of classes. Final exams are the following week followed by graduation and more goodbyes than any of us wish to say (to staff and students who will not be returning next year). But even in the midst of the sadness that can come with the end of the year, there is also a sense of amazement at all God has done this year. And I see that in the faces of my students and colleagues and in my own heart and life. He has been faithful in allowing me to return to BFA, in helping me jump back into teaching French and teaching the Old Testament for the first time. He has been faithful in providing for my every need!

Pictures as Memorial Stones

It was a simple task - delete pictures from my camera to free up space to record my student’s performing their French play.  But this simple task led me to a sacred moment.  As I scrolled through the pictures, I found myself smiling and tearing up at the same time. 

The pictures were from the last year or so.  Somehow I had already forgotten what a year it had been.  I was scrolling through pictures of nature and places that I hold dear and even better faces of people who are very close to my heart.  

We all know that a picture only captures a moment, it is one very small part of  a larger story.  As I scrolled through the pictures I realized I was remembering the stories around each picture. A picture is much like a symbol, it is not the reality but reminds us of that deeper reality.  

These glimpses into the past year left me feeling something far more than sentimentality.  It may sound strange but I started to feel like I was on holy ground.  Each picture was like a memorial stone, a testimony of God’s faithfulness: 

Here I am visiting the gravesite of my namesake and great-grandmother.  Jesus – how you have blessed me beyond what I deserve through my family.

And that was the picture of the spectacular sunset Jesus surprised us with on the last night at our house in Albany, NY.  Thank you Jesus for the gift of that house and for the gift of that sunset!

Here is the Inn that my Mom and I stopped at on our move from NY to KY.  This Inn holds some special memories for our family. Jesus, thank you for precious memories and for protecting us as we drove through snow and ice, with Mom recovering from surgery!

A beautiful full rainbow on a KY evening shortly after having moved there.  Jesus, what a reminder that you are always true to your promises!

Here I am on my birthday almost exactly a year ago.  I was able to meet my new niece and nephew for the first time!  Jesus, who could have imagined a better way to celebrate my birthday than meeting Liam and Samara.  And now a year later I get to share my birthday week with my newest niece!  You truly spoil me Jesus!

Here we are celebrating Samara’s 4^th birthday (our first with her) and rejoicing that on her special day we found out the adoption had been finalized!  What a privilege to be a part of her forever family!

And here I am sharing with a group of people about BFA.  Jesus, I was nervous that night and you helped! I also wondered if it was possible to return funded and you did it through the generosity of your people!  Thank you!

And here I am watching the sunrise over the Atlantic just a few days before moving back to Germany with some precious friends.  Jesus, what a reminder of your faithfulness and your mercies that are new every morning no matter where you go!

A hike to a beautiful frozen alpine lake with some of my colleagues on faculty retreat.  Jesus, I am in awe of your creation and in awe of the people that you have allowed me to serve with here at BFA!

 

And finally, watching my students perform a fun version of Little Red Riding Hood in French to a classroom full of parents and other students. How blessed I am to have the privilege of serving these students and their families.  They are each a blessing to me.

 

I got to the end of the pictures and realized that I had just experienced worship. These pictures were my memorial stones, allowing me to look back and remember the faithfulness of God through the last year. It left me with a sense of wonder and awe. And these are just a few events in the last year! What if I were to take the time to recollect what He has done throughout my lifetime, how he has provided and been faithful not just to me but to my parents, grand-parents, great-grandparents, etc.

I am grateful for these memorial stones.  As I celebrate another birthday and look toward the new year ahead I am thankful for this reminder that He walks with me through ALL of life.  Whatever may come this I know - He is good and I can rest secure in His hands.

I Chronicles 16:11-12: Seek the Lord and his strength, seek his presence continually! Remember the wondrous works that he has done.

Olympic Spirit

Bulletin board at the Middle School keeping track of medals

The Olympic spirit.  It seems that no matter where I turn these days there is talk of the Olympics.  Many of our students and staff are cheering for multiple countries which makes it even more exciting.  For example – should I cheer for the US? For France? For Germany? Whether it is hearing which athlete(s) or which countries are making the news that day or watching events in our staff room during breaks or having friendly competitions between Canadian, American, Austrian, German, etc fans the Olympic spirit seems to have taken over our school.  It is contagious.  You can’t help but want to enter in.  What country will get the most medals?  Which competitors will make their dreams come true and which ones will see them end?  The world is watching and it is hard to remain distant or uninterested, even when you know you should be grading or writing lesson plans. :)

Or what about the contagious school spirit at the last home basketball game of the season? After a very close and tense game, our BFA Falcons won by one point in the last seconds of the game.  It is hard to not get caught up in the spirit of the moment! (Thank you to Lexi for the video!)

This past week in my Bible 7 class, while talking about the story of Moses sending the 12 spies into the land of Canaan, we learned about a different kind of spirit.  This spirit is also contagious but instead of pushing people upward to pursue their dreams, it is a spirit that contaminates and poisons those around them.

God had made a promise to Abraham that his descendants would be as numerous as the stars.  Now here were the people of God, delivered from the bondage of slavery, led by Moses through the Red Sea to the borders of the Promised Land.  They were about to win the gold medal of all gold medals, to enter into everything God had promised.  What an amazing and exciting moment it should have been.  Those who had been enslaved were free and looking to conquer the land that had been promised to them.  But before marching into enemy territory Moses sent 12 spies to see what they were up against. 

You know the story – the 12 spies came back and 10 of them only had one thing to report – there were giants in the land.  However, the other two saw opportunity and the amazing promises of God being fulfilled.  I used to focus on the fact that there were only TWO who saw the promises of God and TEN (the number used to always seem big to me) who saw giants.  I mean what chance did Joshua and Caleb have? 

But this time I saw it in a new light. Based on the word of ONLY ten men, an entire nation was convinced to not go for the gold, the Promised Land. The land promised by none other than God Himself!  These ten men convinced hundreds of thousands of men and their families to disqualify themselves from the race before they even made an attempt.  Scripture gives us no indication that anyone except Joshua and Caleb questioned the report of these ten men. Instead we are told that they began weeping and grumbling against Moses and Aaron, pining for the “good ole days” of Egypt and even trying to stone Joshua and Caleb. 

What a tragic story!  They were so close to getting the gold, so close to entering into the full promises of God, but they let a poisonous spirit seep in.  It is a spirit that can still take over a classroom, a family, an office, etc.  I see too much of my own sinful heart in these cowardly men but by and through His power, I pray that I will make the courageous choice and always go for the gold, following in the footsteps of Joshua and Caleb, knowing that victory (winning the gold) is not based on my own ability but on the character and promises of the God of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob.

Merry Christmas

Recently, I have found myself asking the question – “What is it that makes an institution/ministry healthy?” I have often looked at Black Forest Academy and been impressed by the leadership and the inherent health of the organization despite the transient community and lack of major funding.  I have been around ministry circles, churches and Christian institutions my entire life and am painfully aware of what an incredible blessing this is.  While BFA is far from perfect there is an overall health that intrigues me. What brings about this kind of health? What are the leadership characteristics that are being modeled and most importantly what can I learn from them? 

The Sunday School answer is “Jesus” and of course this is true BUT the leadership of any institution has to be willing to put Him first, not just in word but in deed. 

I believe that part of what makes BFA so unique is the fact that no one is paid and we are all dependent on a foreign government to allow us the opportunity of serving.  Believe me, it is something that I have often wished weren’t true but I have come to the conclusion that this is one of the primary reasons for the health of BFA.  Each staff member has a call and has chosen to live dependent on Jesus and the generosity of others to follow that call.  What it forces us to do, hopefully, is to live with our hands wide open, not grasping at security, pay checks, or positions.  Don’t misunderstand me, I am NOT saying that this can’t happen with a paycheck!  I have seen it, and am so thankful for those examples, but sadly it is rare.

Support raising alone, however, does not necessarily make for a healthy institution.  At BFA every staff member knows that the longest they will be there is five years and then they will have to leave for a year.  Each person is valuable and yet each person can and will be replaced at some point.  This reality is hard at times.  Our staff invests so much to get there and then so much once they arrive.  And while we know the investment is eternal, let’s be honest, we all like to think of ourselves as irreplaceable.  This year for example there is a large number of new staff that don’t know the impact and legacy of those that have left but had invested 10 or more years at BFA. I believe this reality is crucial in keeping each one of us humble and reminding us that God allows us the privilege of “partnering” with him but His work is not dependent on us.  On the one hand this is a hard pill to swallow, on the other hand it is incredible freeing! This reality preempts any self preservation or promoting and allows the focus to remain on following our Savior and being a support system for the families that are on the front lines. 

This question has led me directly to the Christmas story.  As the days we are living in seem to grow darker and evil often appears to be winning, I think it is normal and even human to look for security in these uncertain times.  But I don’t believe this response to be Biblical or part of the Christmas spirit.  In the most uncertain of all times, God sent His One and Only Son to earth as a baby.  Talk about radical living.  He shows us what it means to live, not grasping, but open-handed.  Willing to do whatever it is the Father asks.  Not seeking position, security or recognition but living in absolute surrender to the One who sent Him so that you and I could know true freedom in Him. 

This Christmas, I am thankful for a Savior who “though he was in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, but emptied himself, by taking the form of a servant, being born in the likeness of men.  And being found in human form, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross.” (Phil. 2:6-8)

This is the meaning of Christmas, our Savior did not hold on to position or security because of his love for YOU and for ME!  And that obedience and love cost Him everything!  How could I offer Him anything less than my all this Christmas season?

Remembering With a Grateful Heart

The month of November provides us with multiple opportunities to remember. 

November 1 is overlooked by most in the States but in Europe it is a holiday, All Saints Day.  A day set aside to remember those that have gone before us.  

November 11 is Remembrance Day in many parts of the world, a day set aside to remember those who have paid the ultimate price for our freedom.  

And then (for those of us from the States) there is Thanksgiving.   

At first glance it feels like it doesn’t fit.  But look again.  Can you really be grateful if you don’t remember?  It is a command that is repeated over and over in Scripture.  

This week I have had multiple opportunities to remember with a grateful heart.  October 31 marked the 496th anniversary of Martin Luther bravely nailing his 95 theses to the door of the church in Wittenburg, sparking a firestorm that set the Western world on fire.  One man, who was obedient and courageous enough to stand for truth changed the course of history.  But the reality is that he was standing on the shoulders of many who had gone before and was followed by many other courageous men and women.   

Calvin's Church, Geneva, St. Pierre

In the last month I have had the amazing privilege of worshiping in John Calvin’s church in Geneva with a friend from NY and last Sunday our middle school staff was able to worship at Ulrich Zwingli’s church after attending a conference for international schools held in Zurich.  What an incredible opportunity to remember with a thankful heart God’s faithfulness through the centuries!

Zwingli's Church, Zurich, Grossmünster

At Calvin’s church I found myself singing hymns that to me were “old” but then realizing that they were written roughly 200 years after Calvin.  The Grossmünster (Zwingli’s church) was commissioned by Charlemagne and construction was finished around 1220.  Zwingli became the pastor a year after Martin Luther nailed the 95 theses to the church door and helped bring the Reformation to Switzerland.  What a rich legacy these three men left behind.

 

I was able to remember with gratitude this week the life and legacy of Abraham, a friend of God, as we studied him in Bible class.

I was able to remember with gratitude the missionaries who have gone before as my 7th graders presented their missionary biographies to our class. 

I was able to remember with gratitude that the God of Abraham, Luther and William Carey is the same God that I worship.  He is the same yesterday, today and forever!

I was able to remember with gratitude those whose shoulders I am privileged to stand on, those who have challenged me to courageously obey Jesus in all areas of my life.  

I am also reminded with a grateful heart that it does not stop with me.   

I believe that one of the greatest lies we can believe is that it is our life and our choices don’t have consequences that reach far beyond us. In reality our choices have an incredible ripple effect for good or for bad. I pray that I can live a life of gratitude and can courageously obey Jesus.  I pray that my life will be lived in such a way that others will see Him and seek to know Him more.  I don’t need or want the “fame” of being a Luther, Calvin or Zwingli but what about one of the nameless men and women who made it possible for them to change the course of history?  Could Jesus use me in that way?  

I pray that I will always remember with gratitude and that my obedience will challenge those He has brought into my classroom and into my life to courageously follow Him with their whole hearts.  There is no greater calling.

“When once God’s Redemption comes to the point of obedience in a human soul, it always creates.  If I obey Jesus Christ, the Redemption of God will rush through me to other lives, because behind the deed of obedience is the Reality of the Almighty God. (My Utmost for His Highest by Oswald Chambers, November 2)  

Martin Luther Picture - http://thegospelcoalition.org/blogs/justintaylor/files/2010/10/Luther-nailing-theses-560x538.jpg