If you asked me today's date I would have to stop and really think. But I can tell you without blinking that December 14th was five weeks ago today. Trauma and hospitals leave you in a sort of time warp and time for us is now marked by December 14th.
Early
that Monday morning five weeks ago today, right before we left for the hospital, I
posted a blog (Unexpected Places) that I had written on the plane the day before.
I had moved up my flight five days in order to be home for my Mom’s unexpected
lung surgery. The doctors were preparing us for a rough recovery and for the
real possibility of the nodule on her lung being malignant. The Lord spoke to
me on the plane about Unexpected Places in the Christmas story and in life.
Little did I know that He was gently preparing me for the next 48 hours that would prove to be the most unexpected
and difficult of my life.
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| Unexpected Places: Christmas Day in the NeuroICU |
Monday afternoon on December 14th I drove home to take a nap as jet lag was
catching up with me. We were rejoicing as Mom had made it out of surgery and
the nodule was benign. A miracle even to our doctor! But that evening I laid in bed and
couldn’t sleep, I think I was close to a panic attack and had no clue why I was so anxious.What was wrong with me? We had received good news! Around 8 pm my Dad called and I picked up on the first ring. In a shaky voice he told me that I needed to come back to the hospital right away, Mom had suffered
a ‘large complete stroke’ in the ICU while recovering from surgery. Never has a
drive felt so long! Our world started caving in but the journey had only begun.
The next day as we started to adjust to our new unexpected reality we received further devastating
news that my Mom’s brain was continuing to swell and if they did not perform a
craniotomy that afternoon she would likely die. We were told to call my sisters
and families and to be prepared. Two major surgeries and a large stroke in 30 hours…unexpected, unimaginable places!
As I held my Mom’s hand, talked to her and prayed over her
as they prepped her for her second surgery I honestly wondered if I was saying
goodbye to her. I couldn’t imagine her weak and mostly unresponsive body surviving
another major surgery. And yet though her body had her completely trapped both
Dad and I saw very clear signs that she was still very present!
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| Mom holding on to the cross |
Thank the Lord she did survive! But the following 9 days in
the neuro ICU, followed by a week in the stroke unit and now starting our third
week at rehab have proven to be some of the hardest of my life. There is little
that is worse than watching someone you love suffer! And yet in the darkest of
places the veil between heaven and earth is pulled back and we get a glimpse of
ultimate reality and of a Savior who understands suffering. And without a doubt I can say that even in the valley of the
shadow of death…HE IS THERE!
I can also unequivocally say that my Mom is my hero! I have
said this before but watching her press into Jesus during her darkest days and
trust Him with this has been life defining! Even in her grief over her new reality Jesus keeps shining through! She shared with us that she had always told Jesus that she
would follow Him no matter the cost and she asked us to pray for courage
and strength to take up her cross and follow Him through this journey.
God the Father never intended for us to journey alone so
consequently it is not just her journey, it has become all of ours. I have been privileged to walk through the last five weeks with my amazing Dad, sisters and brothers-in-law. God placed
us in families (whether it be a spiritual family or a physical one) and I feel strongly that God has called me to my family for this season. My parents
have given so much for me, I don’t want to miss this opportunity to honor and
serve them in this way. I realize that not everyone is privileged enough to be given that
opportunity and I do not take it for granted!!
TEAM and BFA have blessed our family in
unspeakable ways by working to make that a possibility for me. I have
officially been granted a short term home assignment from TEAM and some staff
at BFA have graciously stepped up to fill in for my classes. Please pray for them as they take on this added responsibility. I would be lying
if I said that it was easy. I miss my students already and my world at BFA. But
this is not for forever, just for a season and what a privilege it is to walk this journey with my Mom.
Because a craniotomy necessitates a follow up surgery and
the recovery process is slow I do not have a
timetable at this point but I have been in contact with both TEAM and BFA and
will keep them posted as things develop.
To say that we are thankful for the outpouring of love,
care and prayers is an understatement. We have truly felt carried and sustained
by the body of Christ around the world
If you would like to journey with our family, feel free to
check out Journey with Katy
.
